A List for January

 

Here are some random thoughts from January.

  1. Everything that is required of me right now is basically the opposite of my skill set.
  2. If I manage to make it through the next few months with my marriage, my sanity, and the majority of my friendships intact, I’ve basically won at life.
  3. I’m bouncing between procrastination, overwhelm, and squashing my to do list.
  4. While procrastinating, I’m Knitflixing dishrags, socks, and watching the BBC/Masterpiece Theater Victoria and Vikings (I think from the history channel) from Amazon Prime.
  5. For someone who is NOT a keeper of stuff, I really have way too much stuff.
  6. I think it would be really lovely to sell off every earthly possession, buy an Airstream, and just spend a year trekking around North America with Jesse and the kids.
  7. Or have a hobby farm.
  8. But only if I had someone to help take care of the hobby farm. (Because there is a gaping hole between the person that I would love to be and the person I actually am and that gaping hole is made up of laziness and a distaste for physical labor/discomfort).
  9. If the world is really going to hell in a hand basket, this is going to be my guide for how to deal with it.
  10. Discomfort = growth. Growth = good.
  11. All of the problems I’m facing right now are GOOD problems.
  12. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
  13. What other people think of me is none of my business.
  14. I want to write again. Not just lists and Tuesday Things but actual writing. It may not be for awhile though.
  15. Once this remodel is done, I’m going to get back into the habit of creating art and cooking with my kids. I’m missing it.
  16. Days with inches and inches of snow and warm winter temperatures are some of my favorite.
  17. Houseplants can actually kind of become like pets.
  18. Down comforters in January are basically a requirement.
  19. It’s always fun to see your kids find a passion and then work toward it despite setbacks.
  20. When the list gets too long and everything is swirling – taking a nap is magic.

Good-bye August

What happens when you have too many disjointed thoughts:

  1. The kids start school next week Wednesday and I think this is the first time I can say with 100% honesty that I wish summer were longer. It was so full of good things.

  2. I’m in a pruning stage. I think it has to do with being so tired of dealing with bullshit. I want to surround myself with people who are kind, honest, and/or interesting. I want to be reading (books, not status updates), engaging (in real life conversations over coffee and not twitter battles), and creating (more than just posts on instagram). I’m working on it.

  3. Jesse and I went to NYC for our 15th wedding anniversary. I adore that city and want to move there immediately. We saw Hamilton. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for anything in my life. I almost passed out/threw up when the opening music swelled. I loved every single second.

  4. News about Harvey has just blown me away. Wanting to do something (even if it was just little), I sent diapers and put together a box of yarn from my stash. For non-knitters, I’m sure the yarn thing seems silly (maybe even for knitters), but I have plenty and can’t imagine being in a stressful situation like that without having a project to focus on and help me calm down.

  5. Speaking of knitting, I *finally* bought buttons for Violet’s sweater. They look like this. I haven’t gotten them on the sweater yet, but I’m getting there. I also picked up a set of these because they looked cute. I have no idea what I’m going to do with them. I’ve almost finished Abram’s sweater and I bought yarn (in black) and a pattern for mine.

  6. I spent an evening pricing underground bomb shelters. I’m lots of fun at parties right now.

  7. As illustrated by my list, I’m still bouncing like a maniacal rubber ball between gut wrenching fear for the world we are living in and brief glorious moments of oblivion. I can definitively say that it’s not a good time to be a deep thinker, worrier, news watcher. Maybe it never is?

How are you? It’s been a long time since I’ve heard from some of my internet pen pals. Hope to hear what you’re making, thinking, doing in your little corner of the world. XOXO.

39 for 39

Today, I am officially  one year away from 40. I’m planning on making the last year of my 30’s my best year yet.

Here’s my list for 39:

  1. Mail a handwritten letter each month. More months than not, but still needs work.
  2. Try the bullet journal method & don’t obsess about making it pretty.
  3. Get my health indicator numbers inline. Halfway there.
  4. Finish an entire coloring book. Didn’t color much this year.
  5. See Hamilton on Broadway.
  6. Take a firearm safety/shooting class. I kept meaning to and then kept putting it off. It means something different to me now. Don’t know if I can.
  7. Try paddle boarding.
  8. Smoke zero cigarettes. I was cigarette free more days than not. Trying again this year.
  9. Try a new food.
  10. Run/walk a 5K.
  11. Run/walk a 10K.
  12. Run/walk a Half Marathon.
  13. Take a family vacation – just the 4 of us.
  14. Knit myself a sweater.
  15. Read 30 books.
  16. Purge craft space – donate supplies that won’t be used.
  17. Finish quilt top. If by finish you mean give up and get rid of it in my craft purge. (It went to a good home.)
  18. Buy a new lens for my camera.
  19. Have family pictures taken.
  20. Continue to practice unapologetic self-confidence. This will be an ongoing struggle for me and this year was especially hard in that regard, but I think I see some serious progress.
  21. Go on a picnic.
  22. Take the kids camping. Even if it’s in the backyard.
  23. Buy a new box of high quality colored pencils.
  24. Learn to back up boat trailer quickly & accurately.
  25. Attend Mass.
  26. Take a break from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. for at least one month.
  27. Abstain from purchasing any sock yarn. I shouldn’t set unrealistic goals. 
  28. Embroider something.
  29. Create a photo album for each of the kids.
  30. Get a mole check.
  31. Quit drinking Diet Dr. Pepper.  And then started again. Have to try again!
  32. Establish a regular sleep/wake time.
  33. Buy a record player and some records. This is still on my list. 
  34. Cook more.
  35. Listen to my gut.
  36. Celebrate my people. I think I did an okay job of this, but I also think it’s something I can do better.
  37. Update master list of home projects.
  38. Find a project/cause that could benefit from my time & talents and donate.
  39. Make my bed. I did do this most days. It’s easy, it makes me feel better, why I don’t just do it EVERYDAY is beyond me. 

Last year, I made a list of 38 things I wanted to accomplish while 38. I didn’t manage to do them all, but you can read about that here.

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Missing It

Today is the kind of day where if the kids were still little and we still lived in our little old house, I’d walk them down to the park by the river. We’d take the long way home and stop at our favorite coffee shop – fruit smoothies for them, iced coffee for me. We’d come home for naps. I’d spread out big scrappy towels on the patio and put out paints and paper and let them make a mess of themselves.

Those days were hard. Long. Touched out. Overstimulated. Endlessly chasing after someone and trying to keep them both alive. And yet, oh, how I miss them. Not for too long, of course, because soon it will be summer and they will be done with school. On nice days we’ll go to the park or to the pool and stop at our favorite places for food. When we get home I will spread out my scrappy tablecloth for crafting and paints on the deck and let them make a mess of themselves. I will be touched out and overstimulated and ready for them to go back to school by September. But I only have so many years (and not enough of them) of this left. I want to remember how much I miss those days and how much I’ll miss these ones.

I love these pictures. I had just gotten my “big” camera from a friend who had upgraded. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was trying to learn. Violet *loved* that dress. She wore it until it had holes in it. Abram half in pajamas because he *always* wanted to wear pajamas. (The other mother’s at his preschool probably thought I was the laziest woman alive because he was always in pjs.)