Friday Finds

  1. I’ve become more of a morning person over the summer. I may try and incorporate these ideas to keep it going.
  2. On a scale of 1-5 where do you fall? (I’m probably a 3.)
  3. NYT recommended book list for fall 2021.
  4. Grocery shopping inspo.
  5. I’ve started Christmas shopping (and updated my wishlist).
  6. I find this to be satisfying eye candy.
  7. Also amazing.
  8. This makes me want a pool.
  9. Just when I think the world can’t be weirder, this.
  10. Robin is one of my favorites.
  11. Toxic positivity is bad for kids.
  12. My retirement dream.
  13. Hmmmm.
  14. To send your real life pen-pal.
  15. Habits vs. routines.
  16. Make a playlist with friends on Spotify.
  17. It’s almost time to decorate pumpkins.
  18. I guess I’m going to have to break out the puzzles again.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

Tuesday Things

The first blog I ever wrote was called “UpsideDown Kate”. I started writing it soon after becoming a new mom, because I went from being the kind of person who wanted a career and no babies to the kind of person who had a baby and no career. I wasn’t unhappy with the switch; I had made that decision joyfully, but I was also in over my head. I had no idea what I was doing, and was certain I was doing it badly while everyone kept telling how happy I should be.

Has anyone ever noticed that someone telling you how you’re supposed to experience something is the actual worst? I don’t think I have ever (in the history of ever) been more frustrated than by someone telling me that I should feel something differently than what I am feeling. I didn’t feel happy. I felt alone and scared but writing it down and putting it out into the world made me feel less alone, and eventually, better.

The blog has changed a bit since those days, but I still come here because you remind me the way I feel is exactly okay. Sometimes, you have good suggestions on how to experience it differently, or gently point out an angle I hadn’t considered, but mostly, you remind me that I am not alone in the way I see, or feel, or think about whatever it is that I’m seeing/thinking/feeling. And you let me just ramble on about the things I’m doing which is fun too.

Last week, I started Prozac (again). It’s been too many years of struggling while thinking, “This is external stuff, not me stuff. Things will get better.” Hoping that the world would get its shit figured out before I needed medication has me questioning my lifelong membership to the pessimist club. The struggling became too much. Whether external or internal, things haven’t gotten better and my plate is full. Full of health stuff, and raising adolescents, and raising adolescents through health stuff, and extended family stuff, and grief, and the shit storm that is the daily news. I talked to my doctor. I started meds.

It’s been a lot. I feel alone, and scared, and frustrated with people telling me how I’m supposed to feel. (Thank you for not being those people. Toxic positivity sucks.) Some days, I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing and failing miserably and I recognize that I’ve been here before. The gap between where I want to be and where I am is widening, and I’m not sure how to fix that just yet, but being honest and putting it out into the world seems like a good enough place to start.

For those of you on the other side of the teeter-totter, KEEP SHARING YOUR JOY!! It makes my heart so happy to see it and reminds me that I’ve been there and will be there again.

Speaking of joy, did you see that cute little guy in the corner of that nasturtium picture? He was a happy little surprise when I downloaded them.

And because it’s Tuesday and I’m here:

Reading: I listened to Obama’s book while working on some house stuff this weekend. I still have SEVEN HOURS TO GO. I even sped it up just a smidge. It’s NEVER ENDING. I may listen to something else for awhile. Read Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid and It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover.

Watching: Violet and I watched Dug Days (Disney+) which are some adorable Pixar shorts. Abram and I watched Luca (Disney+) which was also fantastic. For adult (and I mean adult) viewing, I watched Sex/Life (Netflix). Not for me.

Knitting: Have the foot of Jesse’s sock to finish, then the hat, then I need something that feels inspiring.

Making: This (We were doing hello fresh for awhile during the pandemic, and this recipe has continued even after we discontinued that service) and chili because I have the peppers from the garden and onion from the CSA and V requested it. I am going to spend some time either cross stitching Chicago or playing in my sketchbook. I need some not knitting creating.

So that’s me. I hope this finds you on the joy side of teeter-totter. And as always, I’d love to hear what you are -ing if you have the chance.

Tuesday Things

This meme made me laugh so hard, I had to share a screen shot.

Work travel. A bout of shingles. 19 years of marriage. House projects. Swim and cross country season practices. Swim meets. More house projects. A return to public masking and outdoor dining (for our family). One school requiring masking. Another not. Frustration. Resignation. Exhaustion. High school orientation and back to school this week. Kids that drive me bonkers. Kids that make me proud. The same two kids, usually within minutes. Dentist and doctor appointments. More of those than I’d like. Endless laundry and to do lists. Tears. Every. Single. Day. Laughter. Every. Single. Day.

In the gardens, we pulled the pumpkins not fully ripe, because they needed to be rescued from vine borer. The melons never grew fat and plump but were so sweet and juicy that we didn’t even take a picture before we devoured them. This year has provided an overabundance of tomatoes and peppers which Peter Rabbit obviously doesn’t like. A bed nasturtium and marigold is all that remains of what was to be a bed of broccoli, beans, and beets. He also managed to eat every single carrot. I never thought I could hate a palm-sized bun with such ferocity, but I could have smashed that baby rabbit with a shovel and felt no guilt. (I didn’t, however, because other people were not as ferocious feeling and that’s why we have no beets, broccoli, beans, or carrots.) On a happier note: those baby bells? I think they were my favorite thing to come out of the garden. I’m sure they’re a complete waste of garden real estate if you’re gardening to really feed a family, but in my little hobby garden they bring so much joy.

We bought a 25 dollar bookcase and some peel and stick wallpaper (which I can officially confirm is contact paper charging a premium for a pretty design) and I love how it turned out. V loves having a bookcase in their room and that peperomia obtusifolia plant deserves awards. It arrived during one of the coldest weeks in January (2020) and was an absolute frozen then thawed again mess. We cut it down to the very base of the stem and crossed our fingers. It bounced back while being horribly neglected.

Okay, so let’s talk some things:

Knitting: I’m just about finished with Jesse’s socks and then I’ll be knitting this hat from a kit I purchased a few months back. Just in time for the fall.

Reading: I just finished The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. It took me a while. I started. Fell asleep. Forgot about it. Started again a few weeks later. Got hooked and absolutely loved it. You know how some books just hit at the right time? This was one of those for me. I don’t know what is next in terms of novels. This article on Facebook’s tracking information even when you don’t have an account just smacked me upside the head (need a Washington Post subscription to view, I think). Lots of things I want to put in a Friday Finds post but that won’t happen until we are well into the swing of school things.

Watching: The most recent season of RHOBH (I bought a season pass because I don’t have cable and it’s been absolutely worth it), Violet and I watched Enola Holmes (Netflix) and really liked it. Ted Lasso (Apple TV) and Roy Kent always and forever (I’m pretty sure that is the most favorite of all my favorite TV shows.)

Making: Order out of the chaos that is my new office set up. Plans for my first ever yard sale this fall. In the kitchen: this and this are both on the menu. Having kids in sports means they are always famished and I’m always time crunched. This rice and beans recipe is another time crunch favorite.

So that’s me. What are you -ing this almost September? Hope you are well and staying healthy.