oh katie joy

  • tuesday things
  • ranting & raving
  • friday finds
  • craft

May 11, 2014

Five Things I’d Tell Myself as a New Mom

1. A good mom makes sacrifices, but doesn’t sacrifice herself.

When Violet was born they thought she had a condition called LQTS. Between worrying about her and a bout of postpartum depression, I should have been taking an antidepressant. But I was breastfeeding and none of the medications I could take to treat my depression were considered LQTS-safe. I wanted to be a “good mom” so I kept breastfeeding and tried to put on a brave face. It didn’t work. I can’t look back at that time without wishing I had done it differently. My life was beautiful and I had never been more miserable. After four months, I switched Violet to formula and started taking Lexapro. I wish I would have realized that good moms don’t always do what “good moms” are supposed to do, but they do what is best for themselves AND their family. A burnt out mom isn’t good for anyone.

2. The days are long, the years are short.

One day when I was complaining about how hard it al was one of my best friends told me to listen to You’re Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins so I did. And I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t going to miss being sleep deprived or lugging a baby into my daughter’s once a week playgroup. I wasn’t going to miss toys all over the floor and diapers and spit up and drool covered shirts.

And in truth, I don’t miss being sleep deprived. Or trying to contain a toddler while breastfeeding a baby. I don’t miss messy diapers. Or having my shirt covered in baby goop. But I do miss the 3am feedings where the house was completely still except for the suck and sigh of a bitty baby. I do miss the smell of a freshly bathed, sleepy headed little being rocked to sleep. I do look at my almost seven and five year old and wonder how so much time has gone by so quickly and I wish I would have slowed down a little and enjoyed it more.

3. Know how to say no.

The year I had Abram I also served on the board of a volunteer organization, helped organize a fundraiser for a local non-profit, and co-chaired a committee for an event with over 300 attendees. I don’t remember a whole lot from that year but at the end of it my husband sat me down and made it very clear I needed to make my family the priority. He was right. I think of how much more I would have enjoyed my family if I wasn’t rushing off to this meeting, or trying to type up that email, and I wish I would have known how to say no.

4. Know when to say yes.

As a parent, my first reaction is too often to say no. Wearing pajamas to preschool, getting out the paints and making a mess, going to the park. Is it really a big deal if Abram has swimsuit shorts under his pants instead of underwear? Will the world come to an end if Violet’s hair isn’t pulled back perfectly? Being able to take a step back and pick battles is important and it’s a lesson I still struggle to remember. I wish there was just a way to permanently etch the “If you can say yes, say yes” mentality into my brain.

5. Chill out already.

I’m too hard on my kids. And then too hard on myself for being too hard on my kids. And then I’m annoyed with myself, so I’m snappy and hard on my kids and the cycle just continues. Sometimes, all I need to do is just take a breath, realize that kids are kids, and enjoy their stories and thoughts and games. I’m an imperfect person raising imperfect people and that’s okay. That’s how the world has worked for thousands of years and mankind is still here. Imperfect and beautiful just like my children.

What advice would you give yourself as a new mom? What are somethings you wish you had known?

Happy Mother’s Day.

No Comments

You’ll Also Love

A Conversation with Abram
This Last Week
It Begins

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Next Post >

Disgruntled & Disheartened

Hi there, I'm Kate! I love yarn, photography, books, and a good cup of coffee. I blog like it's 2007. I write a lot about knitting, Netflix, and any other nonsense that strikes my fancy. Sometimes I get ranty. Welcome to my little corner of the internet!

Search?

Don't Miss A Post!

Favorite Places

A Grace Full Life
Green, Grey, and Gezellig
Funky Crunchy Mama
Posie Gets Cozy
Rita's Notebook
Shutterbean
Small Things
The Spectacled Bean
Yarn Harlot

Categories

  • craft
  • depression diaries
  • friday finds
  • house & home
  • lists
  • ranting & raving
  • recipes
  • travel
  • tuesday things

Archives

Random

  • A WeekendA Weekend
  • Little BoxesLittle Boxes
  • Friday FindsFriday Finds
  • Tuesday ThingsTuesday Things
  • Tuesday ThingsTuesday Things

Copyright © 2023 oh katie joy · Theme by 17th Avenue

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
SettingsAccept
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT