I finished both the socks and the book from the last post. I was happy with how both turned out. Though finishing two socks in two weeks was a bit of a haul. Two pairs of socks this month have me feeling a little less than joyful at the thought of finishing another pair for July, but I will. I quit things easily and often, but something about this challenge has me locked in and stubbornly working away at socks.
Oh, and in my last post…that turtle was laying eggs. I used the super awesome rental lens (70mm-200mm 2.8G) to zoom in but stayed at quite a distance so not to disturb her. I was hoping to get a picture of her laying, but mostly just got her digging. We were all fascinated.
And Violet is off at camp. She was fine at drop off. She was more than fine. She was shooing me out the door once I finished making her bed, and being the smart mom that I am, I gave her a hug, told her to listen to her counselors, and proceeded to walk myself to the car where I had a few minute sniffle at how stupidly grown up she seems and how I’m going to be sending her off to college in nine years and how the last almost nine years have gone too fast and yes, this is the run on sentence of a mother who just realized that all those times they were talking about time flying…look an awful lot like this. I realize that mothers actually sending their babies to college probably find me a little overly dramatic (it’s four nights, Kate, seriously) but the cleaving of motherhood is a never ending process – from the moment they cut that cord, to leaving her with a sitter while still nursing, to the first four overnights without phone calls or texts. I guess, all this to say, I’m going to miss her. I miss her already.
This particular mom, who will shortly be sending her 17 year-old baby off to university, doesn’t find you overly dramatic in the least. I walked back into my house literally sobbing when I put my babies, each in their own turn, on the bus for their first days of kindergarten. This “cleaving of motherhood” is really, really hard, Kate, and I for one am not finding it any easier as time goes by 🙁 . (But what a wonderful experience to give to Violet … I hope she has a fantastic time!)
And FWIW, YOUR perseverance with your monthly socks has greatly helped ME to persevere with my sock knitting 🙂 !
I don’t know if it gets any easier either. I still choke up a little when I drop my kids off at school for the first day and they’ll be in 4th and 2nd grades this year! I will say that I admire the mommas sending their babies off to university and the strength it must take to send them off.
And I’m glad to hear that I’m helping you with YOUR sock knitting, even in some small way. 🙂
The cleaving of motherhood IS a never-ending process, and this mother struggling with university send-off doesn’t find you ridiculous, either. (I will say that this cleaving is far more wrenching than any that preceeded it, but still. I remember. I remember (like yesterday) having those half-way thoughts, too. Last week I visited my parents for the first time without my kids, and I spent the whole time just trying to wrap my head around time, and how we perceive it–just dumfounded that our time of kids/grandkids together is over already. (I know: there will be more times together. But a different kind of times now.)
So, at the risk of sounding like one of those interfering, biddy old-women: I hope you soak up all of these days that you can. I know they aren’t all sunshine and smiles. I know they are also bickering, and endless meal preparation, and never enough minutes to take a breath for yourself (or enough breaths). But soak up the good stuff. Those are the only parts that really stick in your memory. I love your photos. I am so glad for you and your family that you get to have t his kind of time together.
I think part of what makes all these little leavings so hard is we know what they foreshadow. And in some ways I’m grateful for that, it helps me remember to be grateful for all the sunshines and smiles and moments that are so easy to overlook (and I’m sure there are plenty I DO overlook.) In other ways it scares the pants off me because I realize that for all the work I do getting THEM ready for that someday, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to ready myself.
I appreciate your reminders too. And am sending love your way.
Oh, I don’t think we can ever be ready. Any more than we could have ever really been ready to become mothers. I’ve often said, I’d rather have a rich life than a boring one–even though I know “rich” includes sorrow and pain. And I still mean it. Love right back to you.