Arizona is gorgeous. Our Tuesday-Friday trip was perfect for some hiking, swimming, horseback riding and a very cool museum visit. Poor Jesse had to work, but the kids and I enjoyed our adventures immensely.
We also had some experiences that left me musing about privilege, environmental issues (seriously, how many golf courses do you need in a desert?!?), and trying to find the balance between enjoying life/worrying and speaking to issues/not being annoying. For all the thinking I’ve done, I have zero answers and an uneasy squishy squashy feeling that makes me jealous of all the people who somehow don’t find themselves troubled with these kind of things. (Sort of. I don’t actually want to be someone who doesn’t trouble themselves with troubling things. I just would like a break from my brain always finding troubling things to muse over.)
So with that uplifting start…
Knitting: I’m still working on Abram’s sweater. And I still need to find buttons for Violet’s sweater. (It’s one of those jobs I just dread – too many choices!! – so I keep putting it off). I got a pair of socks for Abram on and off the needles and another pair about 1/3 of the way finished.
Reading: The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf. I’m still not finished, but almost. I’ve dog-eared about 35-40 pages because something has jumped out at me. I’m finding so many parallels to my own fundamentalist Christian upbringing. I also picked up The Zookeeper’s Wife while at the airport because I want to read it before the movie comes out.
Watching: Grace and Frankie on Netflix. It’s my favorite. (Let’s not talk about how well I’m doing on my Lenten sacrifices.)
What’s new with you? What are you thinking/doing/reading/watching/making/cooking?
“I just would like a break from my brain always finding troubling things to muse over.”
THIS. EXACTLY THIS.
I probably shouldn’t admit this, but this post nearly made me cry this morning. I’m a mess these days; I have been feeling so alone, and so anxious (over SO MANY things), and so angry (I can admit that here, right?!) for months now. And as sad as it makes me knowing you’ve also been struggling with worrisome thoughts, it at least means someone else understands. (And oh how well I understand when you say you are “jealous of all the people who somehow don’t find themselves troubled with these kind of things. Sort of.” … this is me and (seemingly) nearly everyone else in my life these days…)
Buttons ARE difficult!! I’ve been knitting socks, as usual. Just finished a pair for my daughter, and am on the heel flap of the first sock on a pair for myself. I picked out a pattern for baby booties for a friend whose daughter is expecting this summer, but need to find yarn still. And although I did pick out a sweater pattern for myself, I haven’t yet found yarn for that either.
I’m almost done Mrs. Woolf and the Servants: An Intimate History of Domestic Life in Bloomsbury. It’s been a good read, and has fuelled (even further) my thoughts on “women’s work”, but I’ll be glad when it’s done and I can disappear into some fiction. Next up for me is Thomas Hardy’s The Return of the Native.
Sorry to jump in before Kate has, but just wanted to tell you I’m sorry that you’ve been struggling. I understand, too. I really do. I know I’ve lived through some other times filled with challenges, but I believe nothing compares to what we’re living through now. I think feeling anxious and angry and sad is the sane, rational response, hard as it is to weather.
Oh Marian, I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling lately, but you’re absolutely not alone. I agree with Rita that it seems as if it’s the only sane response to the things going on in the world right now. I’ve had to Scarlett O’Hara (“I can’t think about that now; I’ll think about that tomorrow.”) my way through so many days lately. I hate that we are dealing with that right now. I can’t wait to see a picture of the yarn you picked for your own socks. I’ve been trying so hard not to buy anymore sock yarn (I have so much already) but I couldn’t resist a sock yarn club this year – a yarn shop in Michigan (a little north of where I grew up) is creating partnerships with indie dyers and having them create color ways inspired by the area. I couldn’t resist – especially considering I got a Petoskey stone stitch marker necklace. I’m a sucker for a theme that makes me think of home. I need some babies in my life. I love knitting baby things but we don’t have any in the family at the moment. My brother is getting married this summer…so maybe in a few years?
Thanks for stopping, Marian. I know it’s taken me a few days to get back to you. When not busy with the kiddos and house stuff, I’ve kind of been hunkering down which can make me a lousy friend.
Hi Kate,
I’ve been on a trip this week, too–to Washington, DC. And I’ve been wrestling with the same kinds of questions. I spent 3 hours in the Holocaust museum this morning, immersed in information about how it all started and what the roles of ordinary people are. Spent time in the National Portrait Gallery today, which also had me thinking about the roles of ordinary people in history, and how events of today are very much like events of an earlier time. I’m feeling very unsettled.
And reading The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf, trying to finish it by Friday. We’ve been watching The Man in the High Castle. Compelling at first, but I’m losing interest. That might be more about me than the series, though.
Have loved seeing your pics from your trip on FB.
Thanks, Rita! Can’t wait to discuss The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf. My copy is positively dog-eared after finishing today. Throughout the whole thing I kept thinking how I wish I could share it with some of the fundamentalist Christian friends & family in my life because “HEY. Look. That’s just like us!!” but they wouldn’t – for the same reason I’m relating. It’s a “foothold”. It’s crazy to me how her story is similar to mine in that she was raised a certain way, went through different phases (including being militant and outspoken – oh, I made so many enemies!!!), and then finally practiced because it felt like home and she loved it and she felt peace there but also accepted that she doesn’t know and the people who “know” don’t know. Anyway, it wasn’t the most captivating thing I’ve ever read (I fell asleep at least 5 different times while reading it) but I could certainly relate to it.
From the pictures I saw on FB, your trip to DC looked amazing. How wonderful to spend time with your mother and daughter!! I can imagine (especially at this point in time) that the history in all the Museums is overwhelming. I was overwhelmed as a high school senior and that was back in Bill Clinton’s first term when life was SIMPLE. I can’t imagine being there now and seeing the parallels. I think I might come a bit unglued.