So Abram basically owned this weekend. A soccer game (no pictures), a baseball game, the birthday party of some friends (no pictures), a lost tooth and his First Communion where I didn’t take enough pictures because 1- he was over it and 2- I was feeling flustered by the parents of 46 kids all trying to take pictures at the exact same time and needed to get out of there. Thankfully, the service itself was less hectic. It was wonderful watching my son take part in Holy Communion for the first time and his whispered thoughts when we got back to the pew (“Mom, I just drank alcohol!!! The body was waaaaay better.”) made me smile.
In other news, I have no news. Zero.
I haven’t been watching much in the way of television.
I haven’t been knitting much.
I still haven’t gotten buttons for Violet’s sweater (I’ve resigned myself to the fact that by the time I get them she’ll be too big for it.)
I have been reading, but mostly Warriors books because that’s pretty much all Violet reads right now and I wanted to see what the fuss was all about (and because I figure if I read them, I could figure out what she likes and try and get her to branch out a little bit).
I took a two week vacation from Facebook and have been back for a week and am ready to take another.
I’m focusing a lot on the day to day things in my life. Brushing hair. Packing school bags. Chatting with friends. Folding clothes. Making dinners. Playing games. Saying yes when Abram asks me if I want to shoot hoops (despite being completely horrible at it). Snuggling in. Thinking about the goals I’m going to set for my 39th year. Taking baths. Going to bed early. Sleeping in late. Accepting that I might not be changing the whole of the world (I might not even be doing much at all) but loving the tiny place I inhabit. Searching for peace amidst the chaos and madness because I’m tired of feeling chaotic and mad.
What’s new in your world? Watching, reading, cooking, making anything good?
Such a sweet smile on Abram’s face 🙂 .
I love reading books alongside my kids! My older son devoured the Warriors series, but that was one I didn’t read with him. Are you enjoying it? I’m about 50 pages into Hardy’s The Return of The Native, and just picked up Beatrix Potter: A Life In Nature, which I’m really excited to read after I finish the Hardy book.
I’m not watching anything either, although I did see something advertised recently as “the next Downton Abbey” (but of course I can’t remember what it was called…).
Three things on the knitting needles, which is totally unlike monogamous me: regular socks (for me), boot socks (for my husband, using 6 ply sock yarn), and a baby sweater for my friend’s daughter who is expecting in July (“Granny’s favourite” on Ravelry, if you’re curious).
And oh my — “Searching for peace amidst the chaos and madness because I’m tired of feeling chaotic and mad” — this is me, too.
Wishing you a peaceful week, Kate.
We’re reversed roles! I’m always the one who has multiple projects going! How about the sweater for yourself? Any luck moving forward with that?
I am enjoying the Warriors series. Fantasy has never been my favorite genre so it’s a bit of a stretch for me, but I’m working at it. Hardy’s sound way more enjoyable! Loved them as a kid.
Wishing you a peaceful week as well!!
So much this for me: “Searching for peace amidst the chaos and madness because I’m tired of feeling chaotic and mad.”
I have pulled way back on FB. Every time I dip my toe back in, I end up pulling my whole body away from the pool. I’ve been giving myself permission to sleep more and do less. Last night the dog was snuffly and wanting me to hold him no matter what I was doing. He only does that when he’s not feeling well. I had a to-do list, but I abandoned it to sit on the couch with him and watch 3 episodes in a row of trash TV and write my son a letter. That’s it.
Sometimes I feel guilty about this. I know that if everyone pulled back, the chaos would reign even harder than it currently is. I’m profoundly grateful for all the people who are fighting the fights I want fought. But I just can’t right now. I’m accepting that I might not be built the same way as others who can stay in the fray. I have learned that when everything in my being is telling me to stop, it means I need to stop–even if I can’t see, right now, exactly why. I’ve learned that it doesn’t mean I’m weak or unworthy; it means there’s something else I need to attend to. So, that’s what I’m trying to do.
I’m glad you had such a good weekend. Love your photos, as always. Can’t tell you what I’d give to have more time with my kids when they were that age. I loved so much about parenting during those years; I think that when I’m at the end of my life (if I get to know that’s where I am and reflect on it), nothing else will have mattered to me as much. Don’t let the chaos steal your joy or ever make you feel guilty for feeling it.
I think the truth of the matter is that while there are things we can do, the amount of impact we can make at this specific moment in time is minimal. Midterm elections, 2020 – that’s when we really need to be out there moving. I call my representatives every so often (I had to again this week with the new attempt at “health care” legislation), I read my paper to stay informed, but what else is there *really*? And I feel like it’s important to listen to yourself – especially when it says it’s time to rest.
My word of the year has shaped up to mean very different things to me. The discipline to disengage because that’s what I need. The discipline to focus on my own little corner of the world and keep my own street clean. The discipline to realize that there is a time and a place for everything and that my energy needs to be focused on the controllables right now.
I hope you are getting the rest you need. I know you’ll rejoin when you’re ready. Because you’re right, not all of us are wired to be in the fray all the time and that’s okay. Life still needs living. XOXO.