Never got around to posting Tuesday, so here are some pictures from our last weekend in June. My sister and her people came up to the cabin and we fished, swam (the sis and I challenged each other to 30 minutes treading water), boated, ate a ridiculous amount of food, colored pictures, listened to music (new favorite song). It was really, really good (and really, really hot).
Our 4th was quiet. It was gray and stormy here so we spent a lot of time working on projects. I got the office organized, a good book read (Beartown by Fredrik Backman), and a little more done on my cross-stitching.
Made a playlist. It’s full of folk and “folk adjacent” music and not in any kind of order. A few of the artists are current but there is also a good representation of those I know from my father-in-law’s record collection. I click shuffle and let it play as I putter.
In other news:
Something in my energy is just off. I don’t know how to explain it. I know it sounds woo-woo but the last few months, I just haven’t felt right – like I have a dark cloud taking up space in my personal bubble. I think some if it is summer and the varied schedules and the inconsistent food choices. Between that and my mood disorder, I’d usually chalk it up to a depression, but that isn’t it. I’m just out of sorts, have been for awhile and not sure how to snap out of it. (And I really want to snap out of it.) I’m going to be a trying a few different things in the next few weeks because I’m *really* over carrying around this energy leech.
To combat dark cloud/energy leech/woo-woo weirdness, I’ve been skipping adult-ing and spending a lot more time with my kids. Serious idyllic summer vacation stuff here. Because 1) they’re growing up ridiculously fast and I’m trying to love the crap out of them and soak up all the kid love I can before we’re in the next childhood stage, and 2) The world is a much simpler place when you’re *in the moment* playing a game of HORSE with your kid. Or drawing chalk flowers on the driveway. Or laughing over the Superman ice cream that is covering your kiddo’s face.
I hope you have a good weekend!!
Sounds like a wonderful time at the cabin, Kate. Your kids are at a great age — I’m so glad you’re focusing on the day-to-day with them and really enjoying those moments 🙂 .
I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading on the whole INFJ thing, and I wonder if the black cloud is simply your empathetic nature absorbing all the disturbing and difficult things that have been going on in the States ever since, well, you know…
The more I read, the more I think this black cloud (because I would say I have one following me around too) is simply part of who I am, a result of how I see and respond to the world. I wouldn’t call it depression and I wouldn’t call it a mood disorder; I feel like it’s just my natural response to the world, to life, even when things are relatively good. If we INFJs absorb others’ emotions, it stands to reason we’d absorb collective cultural emotions as well. As Rita’s therapist said to her recently, it would be a form of denial NOT to be feeling depressed/anxious with everything going on, and while I know you said you didn’t think it was depression per se, I think an “out of sorts” feeling would probably fall somewhere along that spectrum. (Just my two cents; I’m not trying to diagnose you 🙂 .)
Hi Marian!! I’m so glad to hear from you!!! I’m quite sure that you have hit the nail on the head and that INFJ empathy is responsible for some of that black cloud energy (if not most). Knowing that people (including myself) are just carrying on in this new (but not at all) normal and the cognitive dissonance that creates is definitely impacting me. All the more reason to strengthen my personal bubble (if you will) because I’m feeling/behaving in a way that is angry and bitter and that isn’t going to accomplish anything but make me feel more miserable and cranky. Hope you have a lovely weekend!
Ally Bean says
Your month, despite your wonky energy, looks like it was delightful. I like photos of daisies and your doggo is the best. I am impressed with your calendar, how tidy it is. I’d be ashamed to show you mine, a scribbled hodge-podge mess.
It really was a good month. I like to focus on the highlights. My actual calendar is on my phone. I miss keeping a paper calendar but the electronic version works best for the family, so I’ve had to make the switch. The neat one above really just shows the month’s highlights in my bullet journal – the actual pages where I make my lists and jot things down are scribbled messes. Something to be said for that. Life..it’s messy.