I know it’s not Tuesday, but I have a few minutes, so I thought I’d sit down and say hello. It’s already the end of October and I’m facing down Thanksgiving and then Christmas shopping and wondering where 2018 went. It’s been a hard year. I’ve cried a lot. I’ve been angry a lot. I think if you pay attention and are a thoughtful, compassionate person, you’ve probably had hard times this year too. I’m here with you. It’s hard not to become bitter. I’m refusing to become bitter (I don’t blame you if you are bitter. I just can’t be that right now.) so I’m working hard on being someone that 9 and 93 year old Kate is/will be proud of. It’s been work. Good. Hard. Work.
On a lighter note:
My sister and I went to Michigan to visit our grandma and our dad. Our uncle brought out his guitar. There was beer drinking and story telling. Eyes may have welled up a bit. Voices may have been raised once or twice. My very citified car went two-tracking because it was the best way to get from here to there (though after getting “not real lost”, it turned out it maybe wasn’t). I mentioned a desire for some taxidermy and arrived the next morning to find a mounted fox waiting for me at one end of our grandma’s driveway and a good story at the other end. Everyone got a kick out of it. It was a lovely visit and I’m glad for it. We took the ferry to Ludington to get there and to get back we decided to drive around through the UP. The grates on the bridge always give me the heebs but being close to the edge is worse. There was snow on the way home. Winter isn’t here yet, but it’s given us warning.
I deactivated social media for a bit this month while working on a project that needed my full attention. Within minutes of signing back on, I noticed this feeling creep over me that I hadn’t even known was gone until it returned. And it felt…icky. I feel like such a drama queen but the more I take these breaks, the more I realize I’m the happiest when I’m not following along on instagram or facebook. I’m not quite ready to deactivate again, but I’ve been thinking about it.
I’m working on a sock. I think I might be able to knit this one (and hopefully it’s mate) without giving up. While knitting, I’ve been watching Younger or Parks and Recreation. I’m not watching much, but I’m finding I like it lighthearted and not too real. Days where I’m happiest, thought, I avoid it completely.
I’ve read two books. One, by Kate Morton, titled “The Clockmaker’s Daughter” is the perfect not-scary ghost story for October. The other, “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi, is sad and beautiful and full.
And that’s me. It’s late October. I can feel myself cozying up. Pajamas get put on early because the sky is dark early. Soups and chilis and hearty comfort foods make up the meal plans.
How are you? What are you thinking about? Working on? Reading, watching, cooking? I hope you are well.