I get up every morning late, still groggy, and make myself the promise that I will go to bed at a reasonable hour. Coffee, porch sitting, some time in the garden, walks, maybe some yoga, hollering for kids to please get off screens and get outside already, bed making, knitting, running cold hose water over my feet, reading, Catan or Skip-Bo or rummy or Sequence, music, nagging at children to pick up their rooms, put away their laundry, and not leave dishes all over the house, wondering if we’re going to homeschool next year and promising myself I’ll look into it tomorrow, laundry (always laundry) and feeding hungry children (always hungry), dishes, making phone calls, writing letters, spending too much time on my own screen, browsing real estate listings and wondering about different lives in different places, pleading with my kids (and myself) just get outside and DO SOMETHING, picking up, putting away, watching a show or listening to a podcast. Whatever promise I made myself in the morning, I do not go to bed at reasonable hour.
I cry. Some days I set a timer and sob and sob and sob and sob until it dings. And then I dry my eyes and get back to it. The tears remind me I am still soft. I am still paying attention. The timer reminds me I don’t have time to wallow – there is too much that needs to be done.
I hold to my middle name as if it is both prophecy and gift. I used to tease my mother that she probably wished she could change it – such a misnomer for the serious, stubborn thing I was (still am). Now, I see that joy is also a serious, stubborn thing. I find it in the fiercely funny retort of my daughter, or the way my son curls himself into the side of me when he needs comfort, confident it can be found there. It’s in creating or crafting or sitting on the porch with a friend. It’s in the actions after the timer dings.
Reading: I have so many books on the TBR pile but the one I’m currently reading (The Guest Book by Sarah Blake) has been slow going for me. It’s good enough that I’m invested in seeing how it ends, but I’m really struggling with one character. I just don’t like her. I think that’s intentional, but I wanted to like her. (For all my talk about not liking one dimensional characters, I don’t like the complexity of this one. At all.)
Watching: I’ve been watching Lucifer on Netflix. I mostly like it? I don’t know. I wouldn’t recommend it. I just don’t feel like watching anything substantive and it’s quippy. Artemis Fowl (Disney+) and Lenox Hill (Netflix) have been recommended. My whole family is waiting for July 3 for the cast recording of Hamilton on Disney+ (I’m so grateful for my friend who gave it to me as a lovely birthday present.)
Knitting: I finished a pair of Hermione’s Everyday Socks and am almost finished with the first of a pair of Evergreen Socks. Speaking of knitting, I’m not quite sure what to make of Ravelry’s new look? I do like the brightness of it, but it’s going to take me a bit to get used to, I think. Once the socks are done, I’m going to start on this scarf, or these socks, or this sheep. Decisions, decisions. I need to make a list of projects for Christmas and get to work.
Making: My plan is to try English muffins this week. I have all the ingredients and I want to do it, so I think I just need to be brave. LOTS of house projects – the first being a master list of house projects. AND Jesse and I came up with a new handy dandy idea about how our family is going to handle house cleaning/chore stuff so I have things to do with that as well. (I love making a new system.)
Please, please, please tell me what is new with you and what you are -ing? I hope you’re all staying safe and healthy and WEARING YOUR MASKS.