February has been a month of growth. This is what I say when I don’t want to talk about how astronomically difficult this month has been personally – when I decide that Texas and coronavirus and crazy people (even if you just pick one of those) is enough. To my therapist, who I see through a screen, I say “can I just sit here and cry for awhile? It’s all just too much.” To myself I say, “I can’t get through this. I can’t. And yet, there is nothing left but to do it.” I’ve gone so far as to write “nothing left but to do it” on my mirror. The list of what sits atop (and is buckling) my plate isn’t necessary. We all have our plates. I will get through until eventually (hopefully when I’m a spry 93) I don’t.
Lest you think it’s all doom and gloom over here, it isn’t. We have reading snuggle piles (though they’re cozier with full sized and almost full sized human children) and laughs. We play games like Proof where I am trounced and Boggle where I trounce (though Abram is starting to give me a run for my money) and Connect Four which can be anybody’s game. I am exhausted and broken and comfortable and content. It’s the way of things. Speaking of things, here are mine:
Reading: I have READ the last few weeks. I’m not saying what I’ve read is award winning or brain turning. I finished All American Boys. This Close to Okay (BOTM pick – kinda had a squeamy that’s not quite right feel to me). Oona Out of Order (Rita, I think I heard about this from you?) which I thought it was a cute read. One to Watch, which I very much loved. The Substitute (part of a .99 pack on Amazon for people like me who don’t have kindle unlimited) was the best davenport read I’ve read in years. (Davenport reads are the not-too-racy-but definitely-romance type reads I would read on my grandma’s “davenport” while eating ice cream sandwiches when I was young. As a response to all of this 2020-2021 crap bag, I’ve been craving those books and that time.) Before We Were Yours (good, sad, sadder knowing it’s based in actual history) and The Queen’s Gambit by Walter Tevis. Now I’m reading The Player which is the second book in the .99 pack.
Watching: Old movies like Big and The Sister Act with the family on Friday nights. Brooklyn Nine-Nine with Violet. Star Trek – TNG with Abram. One night when everyone went to bed early, I watched I Care A Lot. on Netflix which was dark, funny, twisted, suspenseful. Everyone was horrid and yet I found myself rooting for all of them. I need some recommendations.
Knitting: Working on a pair of socks for Abram. Sent out some hearts for Valentine’s Day. Reading limits the amount of time I have to be knitting.
So that’s me. What you -ing? Hope this finds you all safe and healthy.
I feeeeeeeel you on February. I know that sounds corny, but I do. My brain can’t even think of words any more. That is how numb I have become (mind. body, soul). But honestly, even if this was June, I think I would still feel this way. I haven’t been in therapy since July, and I almost emailed her last week. Long story. But yes, I don’t know exactly what you are going through but I am going through something too and I want you to know I am sending you love.
We’ve been watching documentaries, and I have been watching Real Housewives but only the tropical locations. I told you I am going through something. 🙂
Reading Pema Chodron and Glennon Doyle. WHO AM I, KATIE?
Listening to whatever Spotify chooses for me. Today it is Deep Focus or some crap. Only it’s not crap. I only say that because February.
I love your home, by the way. It is bright and lovely. It makes me smile and reminds me of my house.
Thank you for being here and sharing and reminding me I’m not alone, Kari. I’m sorry you’re going through something too. Going through something on top of all of this isn’t fair. And I know life isn’t fair but I’m a toddler like that right now. February SUCCCCCCKS. Hugs.
Potomac is my favorite Housewives. Granted, I’ve only watched that one, RHONY, and 4 episodes of Salt Lake City. I couldn’t with Salt Lake – one the women married her grandmother’s widower because she was left him in the will?? Too bizarre. TBH, I think I’m done with RHONY too. All my favorite people have left.
I bet Pema Chodron is fascinating!! Have you read Brene Brown?
And thank you for your kind words about my home.
First of all, I love your rug in your family room. So cheerful.
As for what’s up with me/us… not much. I continue on with my online course, just so I can say I finished it. I continue on with my blog because that’s what I do. I have a recipe of a Lemon Ricotta Dessert Cake I’m going to try. Next week it is supposed to be warmer here, so the ice will melt and I’ll walk more. Maybe even wearing a light jacket.
Could I be any more dull? Oh well.
I have a real appreciation for dull, Ally. I think a lemon ricotta dessert cake sounds amazing. One of my favorite brunch places (from before C19) does these lemon ricotta pancakes that are soooooo good.
Wishing you next week’s warm up. Ours started this week and it’s really glorious.
What IS it with this month? Ugh. It’s been a real trial for me since the 7th–but, like you, not all bad. And even in the bad, there’s been a lot of sweet. Maybe even as sweet as those little hearts of yours. I love them. More and more, I love frivolous things that have no purpose other than to create delight or joy. Your hearts do that.
That book wasn’t recommended by me, but now I’m thinking I’d like to read it. For Christmas my daughter gave me The Pull of the Stars by Emma Donohue (https://www.emmadonoghue.com/books/novels/the-pull-of-the-stars.html), and I read that while I was in exile at Cane’s. Trying to get a handle on sleep issues, and one recommendation is to get all off screens for an hour before bed. I had this in paper, so I read it before bed. I don’t think it helped me sleep, but it has helped me remember how much I prefer print.
I’ve also been reading How to Do Nothing (https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/600671/how-to-do-nothing-by-jenny-odell/), which I think you mentioned awhile back? I REALLY like it. The cover is so wrong for the book–almost made me pass it by. It’s not a light read, but the topic is very relevant to me.
Watching nothing new/interesting. Another season of the British Bakers. So glad, because I really didn’t care much about anyone in season two, and one person who made it all the way to the final really irritated me by the time we got to that. I think I’m watching 3, and it’s much better.
I think my biggest doing might be the same as yours: doing it. I’m sorry this month has been a struggle. Seems like many people are going through A Time right now. I hope it all eases some soon.
TA-DA!!! It got moody because of the links! I’m glad to hear that you are really liking How To Do Nothing. Isn’t the cover ridiculous? I didn’t think it was the right book the first time I saw it – I had to double check with the recommender.
“Seems like many people are going through A Time right now”. Yup, yup. We’ve definitely entered the point of the marathon where all the reserves are gone and to get to the finish line is just pure grit. It sucks and it feels impossible. Actually, I think it IS impossible but it’s still got to be done so…here we are doing it. I know there won’t be any medals at the end of this, but we sure do deserve one.
Hope your month ends on a high note and March comes in like a lamb and stays one. Is your son home?
“I am exhausted and broken and comfortable and content.” This is exactly how I feel sometimes, too Kate!
I am so happy to hear from you! I love the knitting of hearts for Valentine’s Day.
I have made it through the most difficult part of the deep freeze that our mother nature’s polar vortex which every decade is a persistent, large-scale, upper-level low-pressure area brings unusual hard freezes for a short period of time longer than 48 hours to our area of the US. My plumber did his evaluation on Monday of the broken pipes underneath house and did the repairs on Tuesday. So I have running water and toilet again! And then he was off to assist the next in a very long line waiting for plumbing assistance.
Right before the BIG FREEZE I had scheduled a new 8’ tall fence to completely enclose my back area of my property with a double opening gate on my driveway. So the freeze postponed that and the project began this week Wednesday after plumbing issues were repaired and temps warm enough for workers and could take until next Wednesday or so.
I had hoped that while workers were doing my new fence that I could relax taking it easy reading my next new read or listening to my next new CD book. But really all the responsibilities of fencing and catching up from winter weather, I have not been able to calm my nerves down enough to read. I got as far as to take out my next book and book on CD placed next to my bed.
I’m in good spirits and I hope you have more good spirit moments!!
I’m so glad to hear you are safe and sound and all the necessary repairs have been done. Indoor plumbing is my favorite invention and I can imagine you are very happy to have yours back in working order!!
I hope you can continue to relax so you can enjoy your read or CD book and am so happy to hear you’re in good spirits despite the hardship you’ve had to go through!
The new fence and driveway gate 8 feet tall completely encloses my backyard and driveway to garage. It is absolutely beautiful!! And so much more private. They of course had to make a few revisions to our plan because of C19 and freeze supplier shortages which actually turned out prettier. I love it. The old fence was is such distress and delapidated. The new fence really brightens u my heart with feel goods of home and planting my roots here.
Btw, there’s a neighbor three houses south who have young children, one on the way, four dogs, 3 cats and CHICKENS & ROSTERS!! I heard the cacadodoldo this morning!! That’s a lot of activity in one small cottage. I couldn’t believe it, but two other neighbors confirmed that it’s true. Ha!
I am so glad to hear that the new fence is complete and even better than you had planned.
Your neighbors sounds like they are very busy people!! That IS a lot of activity.
I left a comment yesterday, and it told me that it would appear after being held for moderation–which I don’t remember ever seeing on your blog before.
Did I actually submit a comment?
Did I dream this?
Did I accidentally leave a chatty comment about what I’ve been reading and watching on someone else’s blog?
Life is always full of mystery.
At any rate, the only part of it I really want to repeat is that I love your little knit hearts. I love them because they are so cute and because they are just the right kind of frivolous.
Hope you have a happy weekend–(and that you see this).
You made me laugh, Rita!
Hmmm. I’ll have to login and see if I can find it, Rita!! I hope you didn’t dream it!! I’m glad you love the knit hearts. They were the kind of frivolity I needed too.