On School Shootings

It’s Wednesday. It’s cold and rainy. Yesterday, this happened.

Today, I will place an order for pick up at Target. I will do laundry. I will send my children to school. I will worry about whether they are being picked on or are picking on others. I will worry whether their homework is done and if they’ve done their best work. I will worry about them using their manners. (I will run a collared shirt to Abram when we’ve forgotten today is a Mass day.) Most days, I wouldn’t worry about a shooter, but today I will.

I will call my representatives. I will feel heartbroken and helpless. I will pay the bills and balance the checkbook. I will unload yesterday’s dishes and load this morning’s. I will make each kiddo a list of tasks to finish today when they come home from school. I will hope they come home from school. I will scroll through Instagram. Feel frustrated that today’s outcry will be tomorrow’s outfit post. I will feel hypocritical as I type this.

I will text a friend about a show we are both watching. I will make beds and pick up shoes. I will pick my kids up from school. Today, I will think about all the parents who thought they would be picking up their kids from school. Tomorrow, I might think about them too. By Friday pick up, I will be thinking about our weekend plans.

Our ability to adapt is a blessing and a curse. We should not be able to adapt to this.

I will put one foot in front of the other. I will forget. I will hope to never feel this way again. I will not be surprised to feel this way again.

44 .

  1. Stay cigarette free. (Two years+ and counting!!)
  2. Finish Chicago embroidery project.
  3. Frame & hang embroidered cities.
  4. Knit a sweater.
  5. Knit the sheep pillow.
  6. Continue to practice unapologetic self-confidence.
  7. Complete the second floor update.
  8. Hang family picture wall.
  9. Celebrate my people.
  10. Take impeccable care of myself.
  11. Get a mole screen.
  12. And a mammogram.
  13. Tend the garden.
  14. Try canning.
  15. Go to Colorado.
  16. And Michigan.
  17. And NYC.
  18. Renew passports.
  19. Take the summer off Instagram and Facebook.
  20. Have a yard sale.
  21. Make a NYC picture book with V.
  22. Celebrate 20 years of marriage with Jesse.
  23. Continue to cultivate a cozy, welcoming home.
  24. Practice boat (and boat trailer) proficiency.
  25. Get Abram through boater’s safety.
  26. And V through driver’s ed.
  27. Refine the home binder & checklists.
  28. Write a short story.
  29. Unsubscribe from email lists/catalogs.
  30. Read.
  31. Go on a picnic.
  32. Purge kitchen cabinets.
  33. Use the state park sticker.
  34. Eat at home for a month challenge.
  35. Make artistic messes.
  36. Donate my time to a cause I care about.
  37. Start planning the deck/patio/garden update.
  38. Complete a 100 day challenge.
  39. Take a ski lesson.
  40. Ride 1500 miles.
  41. Work on flexibility.
  42. Set up a game cart.
  43. Get a birdbath.
  44. Reacquaint myself with my big camera/manual.

Past years: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 42, 43.

Tuesday Things

You know when you have so many words that you have no words? Is that just me? Either way, I have lots things, but too many words for words* so let’s just talk things.

Reading: I found out about Libby and put it to use reading The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy which has been on my list for ages. I missed my window. I would have loved it in my 20’s but couldn’t force myself to finish it. I’m so far behind in my reading goal. I hope a IG and FB break over the summer will help me catch up.

Watching: I started watching Anne with an e (Netflix). I initially resisted it (I loved the original and first few books so much) but my sister kept telling me I would love it and I do. I can see purists not loving it, but I find it a lovely deviation. The Flight Attendant (HBO) is another that I’ve put off watching but really have enjoyed. I’ve found that Kaley Cuoco’s acting makes the character so much more sympathetic/enjoyable than the version in the book which was my biggest complaint.

Listening to: A couple of really good Ezra Klein podcasts. One with Margaret Atwood on stories, and another with Matthew Continetti regarding the GOP. My newest favorite song (thank you, Jules). The soundtracks to Come From Away (V introduced this to me after their trip to NYC and I cry every single time I listen to it) and Moulin Rouge (V also saw this in NYC and I have tickets to see the touring show for my birthday and I’m so excited). And this throwback. I’m so glad I got to see Tom Petty in concert.

Making: I’ve been working on my coziest memory blanket and (as always) a pair of socks. I’ve also been stitching on Chicago because I really want to finish this three city project. I got V a diamond art painting and myself a paint by number so we sit and listen to musicals and work on them together. My goal is to fill the blank walls of the basement with pictures/craft projects that the kids and I have completed over the years.

What are your current -ings? Hope you’re all well!

*I feel like I should clarify that the lack of words isn’t attributable to a negative. I mean, it’s 2022 and it’s been years of heartbreak on a global level and an incredibly difficult year on a personal level, but it’s also been one of the best years of my life (if not the best).